The sweetest thing

Been a while

2010-07-08T12:40:00.000-07:00

There is no point at which to start .... but there is an end, I just can't see it yet.

(sounds lame .... you haven't seen shit yet!)

When I was younger I wanted to be older

2010-06-06T04:17:00.000-07:00

when I was younger I never thought I'd :

Spend all my money on medicine

Hurt myself on purpose

Not want to eat my supper

Hate my father

Hate myself

Hate the world

Smoke like grandma

Drink like grandpa

Lie like the bible

But most of all I never thought I'd want to be younger

Turn

2010-05-29T12:36:00.000-07:00

There is a friend of mine who writes poetry

he recently wrote a poem

It was fucking good

it places its listener in an uncomfortable state of addiction

He holds in his person such talent

the people I surround myself have such talent

as much as I am in awe and admire this pool of genius ....

I am a selfish being

sometimes I wish I had a genuine thing to give back to the world

something to set it alight with

something other than this shallow pretense to entertain others with

I have done it again

slipped further into to wallowing.

gongrats hats

Hell fire

2010-05-23T13:57:00.001-07:00

If you do top yourself - it will be shit I guess .... I think it's expected of me to cry but ... you are an evil man who caused so much pain to people you are programmed to love.

I know you're desperately unwell but... look around you so is everyone.

just keep self medicating and .... what happens will happen

Drama

2010-05-06T13:03:00.000-07:00

I’m not meant for this city

I’m not meant for this town

I don’t want to be a cool kid

Drinking in the cat grounds.

Long time no waffle

2010-05-04T14:54:00.000-07:00

This quiet diet builds a riot bigger than the funeral pyres

Burning boldly at the banquet laid for three

Twice they ran and thrice the man

Fell down, “slow down” but down he fell alas.

decision time

2010-03-11T11:50:00.000-08:00

I am making plans that will change me life - for the good or the bad, only time will tell.

If any of my friends are reading this just to let you know:

I am quitting smoking - do not offer me or encourage me back into smoking
I am quitting any form of drug - this includes green
If I am not at the cage for a while it is because I seriously need to sort myself out and I have no willpower.
If I do not appear to be very sociable - I am not well and I need to recover, people tend to make me very stressed and I do not want you all to see me when I am this anxious + down.

I need time to sort things out

2010-03-10T11:59:00.000-08:00

I apologise everybody.

I will not be with you for a while

I need to reorganise my life

I have stumbled into a place I do not wish to be

This is all for the best

Do not worry - I am going to be okay

No one likes weakness

2010-03-09T15:57:00.000-08:00

I'M NOT GOING TO PRETEND I DON'T REALISE THE DAMAGE I HAVE DONE

I CAN HATE MY BODY

BUT I WOULD DIE IF YOU STOPPED LOVING IT.

"God gets me wet"

2010-03-09T14:05:00.000-08:00

A clammy palm that beds itself closest to her silky pocket

Engulfed by seas of warmth and inescapable security.

To trace such a burning outline scolds the unfamiliar.

To douse such fury will break the madness but leave a wreckage too tainted for consumption.

Thoughts are dangerous occurrences

2010-03-08T14:20:00.000-08:00

So many, too many monstrous tangents -

sloshing about in a cocoon of decay

Rotting the fibrous strands of doubt

Conditioning the brittle bones of ....

But to stray to far from the intended path

leads only to a revelation of the most disturbing kind

An awkward mess of embarrassed eyes

Lolling into their soulless sockets, repulsed by their own existence.

Garish is it not?

Outlandish may it seem?

But grotesquely honest in its perverse display of ignorance.

You were all thinking it

2010-03-03T15:49:00.000-08:00

Attention is no new invention

But scrutiny's the new mutiny

Crying in public's the new lying in secret

And give me strength not slumber

Pubescent cunt smugglers aint got shit on me!

2010-02-28T09:01:00.000-08:00

Formspring's latest hit:

self harm for attention.dont eat for attention.have formspring for attention.is this all there is to your life?

The worst part is I probably know this fucked up individual really well.

If you read this (and I'm pretty sure I know who this head case of retard is)

YOU KNOW FUCK ALL ABOUT ME SO STICK TO YOUR OWN PATHETIC 'ISSUES' AND GO CRY ABOUT YOUR SAD SORRY SITUATION.

WELL DONE I DO HAVE AN EATING DISORDER AND I DO SELF HARM - SO DOES 8O FUCKING % OF THE TEENAGE POPULATION - IT CERTAINLY IS NOT SO I GAIN THE ATTENTION OF SOME NARROW MINDED PIECE OF CRAP LIKE YOURSELF.

AT LEAST I'M GETTING HELP FOR MY PROBLEMS - YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A PREJUDICE, IGNORANT CUNT - WITH A PERSONALITY ONLY YOUR UNFORTUNATE MOTHER COULD LOVE - ENJOY BEING ALONE FOR THE REST OF YOUR UGLY EXISTENCE.

Formspring is a bitch on a period

2010-02-23T15:36:00.001-08:00

formspring questions/abuse that really made me question the nature of people:

"Your not indie dear. Dont label yourself and your too tall for your little boyfriend, and maybe too good to."

"do you think you are stuck up"

"would you call yourself a "wallower""

"Your not very pretty, but you have a very good figure and you were also very very very good in the fashion show. Probably the best, agreed by others too"

so to see my answers and witty responses go to:

http://www.formspring.me/madhatties

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels

2010-02-21T13:52:00.000-08:00

Tear drop on the fire

2010-02-21T13:17:00.001-08:00

Today:

Slept to forget

Read to distract

Ate to avoid

Smoked to displace

Bled to punish

Cried for nothing

------------blank------------

2010-02-20T14:59:00.000-08:00

This ISN'T poetry

If you want to know then read - I wouldn't.

I am not well.

I haven't felt well for a long time now.

I don't want to be left alone with these thoughts.

Sometimes I think Ian curtis was a step ahead.

You people never end

2010-02-18T13:09:00.000-08:00

NOBODY LOOKS AT ONE ANOTHER ANYMORE

I JUST WANT TO BE LOOKED AT

(for K)

I'll have a white riot

2010-02-11T14:14:00.000-08:00

Time only smothers

all the mothers

and the brothers

of their lovers

every sunday it's like lightening in your teeth

it's all you get

2010-02-08T14:55:00.000-08:00

Rolls its eyes and drips despise

when listening to these plaintive cries

Alas!, alas! And woe is me

but lower still I seem to be

just wallowing in misery

(you want a bloody poem so here you go)

Melt the sunday blues

2010-01-31T08:17:00.001-08:00

http://www.lucymcrae.blogspot.com/

do yourself a favor and go to this blog = quite possibly the coolest thing I've EVER seen.

Chlorophyll Skin from Lucy McRae on Vimeo.

Let's evaporate our babies

2010-01-30T17:08:00.000-08:00

We condensed our mother's milk and gave away the secrets it contained.

Storing bones and gramophones in the cracks the bullets made last revolution.

GIVE ME SOME BEEF

2010-01-27T10:39:00.000-08:00

http://www.formspring.me/madhatties

EVER WANTED TO ASK ME SOMETHING ANONYMOUSLY??

CLICK THE LINK AND ASK AWAY.

I lent myself to someone else.

2010-01-26T11:14:00.000-08:00

I'm stacked on top of this body and its thinning flesh

With my brain swimming in a vat of strawberry syrup

CLogging up the vEins in my opTics.

MY help is hOtter than the blood between their thighs.

Yesterday UnderstanDs tomorrOw is missing the sorroW of today.

I gave my brain a blaNket of snow for a couple hours

EASE

THE

BLUR.

let the drama kid die

2010-01-24T14:41:00.000-08:00

OH SHIT

FIN

Never ever mind my dear

2010-01-19T13:04:00.000-08:00

Slice the mice not twice but thrice

Peel and splinter their creamy fur.

Hang their pelts from the bell tower

Watch their smiles run away with the sewage.

Maybe the films are right.

2010-01-17T11:39:00.000-08:00

Enit though

You seem to be so plastered

2010-01-16T11:46:00.000-08:00

Have a break

From the fake

State of wake

You can take

The time to make

Better this new year's mistakes.

Citrus mistress

2010-01-14T13:57:00.000-08:00

Stack your packing which you'll find lacking

Closer to the cracker tacking

Rigging all the streets down sunset strip.

Sugar paster, faux-sho waster

Give the girl a rich wine taster

Glass jaw humour dripping on the floor.

Inclined to refine my mind

2010-01-10T14:45:00.000-08:00

BLA BLA BLA

SOMETHING HIDEOUSLY SELF CENTERED

SOME WANKY ATTEMPT AT POETY

I'VE GOT SO MANY ISSUES - GIVE ME A TISSUE

Moral high ground this glock.

2010-01-08T13:01:00.000-08:00

Shooting myself in the leg so I can freestyle on a whim.

Beats crowning my statements with private knowledge.

I'd hate to taint with paint a face so quaint.

So..... move out the fucking way when I'm waving a paint brush!

Do the B.R.E.A.K up

2010-01-07T06:23:00.000-08:00

FucKInG birDs ShAkiNg alL ThE sNoW OFf All thE brAnCHes -

WHAT ARE THEY LIKE!

Not a lot of what

2010-01-03T10:55:00.001-08:00

What

Do in a town more beautiful than the brothels of Atlântica avenue?

Find

Cause to neglect and a plan to leave in the drawer.

sdfghjkiop;lkjhgfcdxcvbnjmk,l;';lkjhgvfcghjkl;';lkjhgfd

awsxcgyuhnmkpwsxtgyhjikl;'/'''''[pjhwsddcvu

j ust d o n ' t r EA LL Y C A RE MU ch

a n y m o re

Instamatic static

2010-01-01T14:38:00.000-08:00

Velvet sundays chase my monday blues.

But never peel the skin from last year's conscience.

Pack lighter than the lives you're taking with you.

Misery occurs at different heights

The taller always witness greater sorrow.

Fine lines and right times

2009-12-28T14:43:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you make my eyes leak that salty syrup

Most days you scrape the layers of this bruised beatnik

Till the colour reflects the drummer pulse lying in the garden.

You were making puzzle pieces from the flesh on the ground.

You couldn't see the evergreens dying in the blackout.

Clap trap hot box sweat threat

2009-12-25T07:41:00.000-08:00

Roll these pennies toward the sea

I need to pay my way out of this trip.

I'll be in the desert waiting for the light show

You'll be in wisconsin stranded in the deep snow.

Hand me the anecdote

2009-12-20T15:08:00.000-08:00

She said "It's colder in the past so drink to warm the cockles of your present"

I said "How do stop the greener grass from burning through your paranoia?"

Standing on the landing with sugar in her palms she says"this stuff's a killer"

You were modesty in hand saying "The wasps get us all in the end"

"Some a little sooner and some a little sharper" I said bleeding at the gums.

We all sat in the snow and agreed this was the best the worst had ever been.

Jesus Christ I'm

2009-12-15T16:09:00.000-08:00

You left smudges on my windows that looked like crippled memories

But blindness gives you hindsight at least that's what my coffee looks like.

If you find the end of this blood line stitch it back together with thinner threads

Then mail it to the last place you saw me praying.

For my eyes only

2009-12-13T13:43:00.000-08:00

It's a good thing i've got no money babe.

I'd be on the first flight to a sunny disposition.

But I'd write a letter or two with words you don't understand.

Not to spite but give a little insight.

Special K

2009-12-13T07:27:00.000-08:00

Closest to the door wins a smile worth keeping.

I don't know how to say the things worth saying.

Ignore the secret side that emerges from the white clouds

She's a lost soul looking for another to steal.

If I make you upset remember I'm a bad person

Who smokes too much on my own and hurts your hearing.

But never take the train from the left platform or the wrongly titled right side.

Just meet me on the otherside of this secret

We'll talk the night down - stuck out in your honesty.

Inhale

2009-12-09T15:40:00.000-08:00

Take another look at the hole in the parquet

It's filling up with dust of a different kind.

Washing your eyes with lemon juice

Heard it does nothing for your mental health.

Keep sailing that shell out to high tide

Just come back for the evening low pride.

It's the end of the world as we know it

2009-12-08T15:02:00.000-08:00

I can't hear through all this progress heavy in the air.

Swim a little deeper till we see the pink moon.

Let me change the stitching on your jeans.

I can't stand the contrast walking down your leg.

If you find a treasure map hidden in the freezer

Make me a pack lunch, take the gin and call a cab for 6 o'clock.

Get up and scream

2009-12-07T14:35:00.000-08:00

If I was younger i'd remember to take all the glue sticks home.

Collect them all until I could build a castle for the ladybirds.

If I was older I'd make sure to turn the taps off in the night.

Because we don't have boat to save us from the floods.

Cut and paste a happier face on all the good times.

Staple on the bodies that we wanted.

Fall asleep in the cereal aisle humming 60s songs with one eye open.

Film everything we do in case someone doesn't know how cool we can be.

SAY IT

2009-12-06T09:15:00.000-08:00

I CAN'T BREATH

I LITERALLY CANNOT BREATH

FUCKING FUCK FUCK

PLEASE FUCKING HELP

I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT THAT PICTURE

YOU ALL LOOK SO FUCKING HAPPY

DOES IT LOOK THAT PRETTY IN PERSON

I KNOW I DON'T

You and your friends look pretty

2009-12-06T08:29:00.000-08:00

Looking at the sun for too long burns my optics but it makes yours golden.

Looking at the worms in the soil for ever is my kind of game.

You were standing armed to the teeth with enough magnification to burn a colony.

I was handfuls high of queen bees, crusading through the garden.

It's hard to say how many died at the hands of your happiness.

Please don't put me on those nostalgic squares, you know I smudge the memories.

I'm not thin enough for this family and my nose isn't pierced.

My conversation has run dry and wrinkled in the moon light.

Someone pass me a tissue I think it slipped closer to the blue line.

Golden when the day

2009-12-02T15:07:00.000-08:00

I gave you just a handful of soul to hold but it fell straight through those beautiful bones.

I wish I had a ribcage I could hide the pennies I find on the floor in.

But for now I'll keep throwing them at the sky to scar the shroud of lights.

And there's a sea of dimes and lashes under the floorboards that I like to keep my secrets in.

If they ever find our bodies strung up in the wine cellar at least they'll know we died drunk.

Closer than most to you

2009-11-30T14:06:00.000-08:00

You said " give me a ride on that slowly sinking ship you harbor"

I said " tell me where and I'll light up the cannons so it looks like christmas"

when you lay your weight on the flat of my stomach I thought, "if we head towards the furthest glow where the skies seep feelings of a different kind and we can watch the world burn white."

You went quiet and followed the drum of my skin, "I don't like it when I feel the rough on your fleshy coat"

I answered, " I do it for the nights when your not here"

You looked a bit shifty in the eye, "I'm always here, the moment I'm not I'll drown"

You should get out

2009-11-29T12:30:00.000-08:00

" it was not your fault but mine

and it was your heart on the line

I really fucked it up this time

Didn't I my dear". = Mumford and sons - 'little lion man'

This will upset you

I'm sorry I can't say this to your never -faulting face

I will let you down in every sense.

I'll keep you drowning until I fall in.

This is always about me and you know you can do better.

Don't ruin your healthy mind that I'm so jealous of.

As seen in meat side

2009-11-26T14:02:00.000-08:00

If you're not sleeping 6ft under then turn of the phosphorescence so I can catch some shut-eye.

Fill my bowl with mystic wines that keep my brain afloat a sea of vulnerability.

When the wheels start munching up the dirt beneath there'll be no stopping this band of brothers.

If you get back and your eyes are met by shoe laces and fallen chairs then lock the door and get the camera, this moment's far too fleeting.

Watch me for a while hanging like your latest installation, maybe paint my frozen feet a shade of deeper sorrow.

But before you're paid a fat man's lunch read the note I left in your freezer, it's bitter and twisted and meant for your father.

You're night as day

2009-11-25T15:06:00.000-08:00

Dropping beads of sweat in a dish by the fire is my favourite way of killing time.

But no one thought to give old Mr.Clock a proper funeral on the Isle of White with flowers, a coffin and fancy black cars.

Good thing bitterness was left off the list and the windows are thicker than wits of all kinds.

The sun herself did not come for farewell nor did the moon who courted the nights.

The sight of no mourners is a sorry sight indeed to be seen by no person, peoples or players.

Tear up the town and drain the sea, wreck this God-awful sand pit in the final curtain call.

I found this in a jar.

2009-11-24T15:12:00.000-08:00

I think this might belong to you I'm sorry it's covered in dusty bits.

I kept it under my bed with the insects from last summer but it caught fire when you came ringing.

If you're going to bury it then send it to the arctic to freeze the moments that seep out of the holes.

You shouldn't trust me with the precious things in life my mother always told me, "you're a clumsy girl who wants too much of the world than it can offer".

You're just a boy and I don't see how you can keep all the things I need, so i'll look for them in American dreams or brown paper bags that smell of formaldehyde.

Please please please don't hate me when I forget to water the peace lilly - I know it was a present from you.

Strife wife

2009-11-22T12:18:00.000-08:00

In a tin that's sun cracked and rust galore lies the body of a oxford whore.

"let me wait here a while" she said before they closed the lid.

It's a crying shame to look up and see the black without the gold;

it's said that nobody knows what really happens at the bottom of the garden.

When they light me up I want to hear the roar for all it's worth

"but make sure you burn the fucking library, I'm overdue 3 months".

Snippets of whatnot I wangled together in these fleeting seconds.

I hear you grind your teeth when you're alone

2009-11-18T13:46:00.000-08:00

I said, "fuck... I just don't give a shit".

He went, "I want to cry when I see the street cars".

I said, "what are we then - fools or liars".

He whispered, "if you knew the truth you'd join the circus".

I went, "If we're all so sick then why don't we kiss the ground".

He answered, "you'll never cure this disease, not you or the sound of drums".

- some short shit about shit that's been in my brain box for the last minute.

I couldn't get into his head

2009-11-17T12:56:00.000-08:00

Take me back to Alberkerky and watch me count those dimes.

Take me where the music grows and we can step in time.

Swindle me a pocket full of insight for the road.

So you can have the upper hand and me the wiser load

Just leave me outside the church, it's where I have to go.

I'm a cold hard sinner, the lowest of the low.

(I might stop blogging while I sort out myself because I don't think this is very healthy)

He said he loved the unknown

2009-11-16T13:47:00.000-08:00

Around 3 am I miss that sound.

So I'll have those sepia dreams.

With Sequins for monocles.

And liquid lunch in the woods.

Pajamas and wellies on the streets of Montmarte.

Too loud for the galleries but too afraid of the back allies.

Just hold my hand when I wake up.

Sing for my sins

2009-11-15T13:37:00.000-08:00

The young ones and their take on living.

Dirt cheap or dirty thieves.

Befriend the bus but have an affair with a black cab.

Carry your wit and lighter in some thrifted leather.

Wear a 'Hobbes was off his nut' T-shirt made by a hipster-hobnob.

Fuck stealers wheels and sleep on the goddam floor.

I wanna get fucked with you

2009-11-12T13:55:00.000-08:00

I want to dwell in cities neither of us know.

Drink wines we don't know the year of.

Eat cereal at 1 in the morning outside the tube.

Save coppers and buttons to pay for cigarettes.

Borrow you hair wax and steal your jumpers.

City living without you aint living

2009-11-11T12:49:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna make it to the big city.

But I never want to leave your duvet.

If I climb into your brain I can keep you in my dreams m- you'll be the coolest cat in a fast car talking shit about foreign films.

Cocked your head to shoot me down

2009-11-10T12:37:00.000-08:00

Accepting the obvious is never easy when means losing something.

I don't know if it will ever be okay.

Destroying the good things is a habit I've adopted.

Maybe it suits my style.

I'm sorry it won't suit yours.

Wasting your time is my worst hobby.

beautiful boy you make me spin

2009-11-09T13:25:00.000-08:00

Speaks for itself - boys are beautiful creatures appreciate them more in their clouds of smoke.

Some days I miss you

2009-11-09T13:03:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I find myself wishing you were here.

I never rely on people.

But some days I think I need you.

I don't know if you understand ... but that's alright.

man I love the city

2009-11-08T08:57:00.000-08:00

Amsterdam

The city of everything I wish I was

I miss you so much

No one looks as beautiful at night than you

Beat my generation

2009-11-05T13:47:00.000-08:00

"Something is happening here but you don't know what it is"

Never been so desperate to be part of an era or movement than when I think of the beat generation. However I'm not discounting just how much is going on in the art world now... but the reality is that it's an elitist world designed to preserve brilliance but crippled by the fear of seeming commercial.

Guess it's the cheese factory for me

Fin

2009-11-05T13:25:00.000-08:00

It's just what all young lovers do.

Too much time is spent thinking about the eventuality of things - the big fear of 'tits up'.

We are the young ones.

Not in this new romantic way

2009-11-03T11:54:00.000-08:00

I know ...

You know you don't...

I'm not very healthy ...

You're too lovely...

I'll leave....

It's the hypoglycemia don't worry

Tall buildings shake

2009-11-01T11:12:00.000-08:00

By some miracle have I gone for a positive topic.......

Does not compute.

Another wave of claustrophobia has crept into my shriveled think-tank and I find myself more than ever longing for an escape route. I am happy in a rather warped sense... almost as if the feeling is a distraction/time-filler before I creep away to the seclusions of anonymity. Eventually those around me will realise disappointment is inevitable and that 1 of us has to leave..... .

I'm closer to the sea than you'll ever be.

Stephen would weep with joy

2009-10-28T15:58:00.000-07:00

I have always held a love for the way of the chap - the beauteous sight of fitted shirts, canes, cravats, monocles, top hats... there is simply nothing more glorious.

In case it is not obvious, I do have a slight incapability to process alcohol accompanied by a habit of becoming over-emotional and 'flowery' with my choice of words. However let this not deter from my homage to well crafted gentlemen

I wish I was a whiskey drinker

2009-10-27T16:34:00.001-07:00

cafe society to me is as good as this whole living-shindig gets. I am that wanker that says

"i wish life was a black and white silent movie".. and means every word. You can most definitely judge a person on the type of coffee they prefer (if they don't like coffee .... it's not looking good), personally black is best (every innuendo included) - accompanied of course by a cigarillo and thrifted fur.

This is as shallow as it gets.

Smoke that fills my heart

2009-10-27T13:31:00.000-07:00

I want to sink into the mystic clutches of that swirling smog and never wake up.

I am feeling ever more out-of-place, longing for a location void of others but also myself - it's the worst thing resenting your own presence, now I know how Peter Pan feels about his shadow.

goddamn cool kids

2009-10-25T14:34:00.000-07:00

Hipsters are the bane of my life but also the basis. A vicious circle where you feel boring in comparison and seethe with jealousy upon sight.

They make an otherwise bleak world go round, filling it with french and polaroids..... that is the extent but it is a wondrous thing.

Gatsby you're my hero

2009-10-25T13:47:00.000-07:00

I wish I lived in a house, a very big house in the country ..... but i would eat, smoke AND laugh - and fill it with the coolest cats in town.

Watched the original Great Gatsby today - twas a jewel of 1920's suave style - always love a splash of money hungry, post war, cocaine fueled, jazz addicted - fashion lovers.

I dream of Champagne breakfast in wellies in many acres - curling around a beautiful being.

I am a selfish person with their head perpetually lodged in the clouds.

Mister sandman bring us a dream

2009-10-22T14:47:00.000-07:00

I love Pomplamoose, they are so sweet and original - she has the best vocals and rad-est song choice. sorry but you should check them out.

This post however is about my ever growing love for smoking on camera. Obviously Olsen is a beautiful nymph of fashion but she fits nicley with my balcony collection. The best experience i had was in Amsterdam at 1 in the morning curled up in my window ledge 4 floors up warming myself with a cigarette. The sky was beautiful and the city is magic

You say you want a revolution

2009-10-21T13:43:00.000-07:00

Falling back in love with the aggressive mess of noir and gin.

There's something rather special about feeling liberated by youth - like we're this mass of opinionated and 'involved' bright young things. It's one of by biggest fear growing old, ignorance is telling me that only now can I truly express myself and feel beautiful ..... later is ... too late.

We all want to do something great, most of us won't.

Dripping with insecurities

2009-10-20T11:34:00.000-07:00

All gear no idea is possibly the story of my life and (let's be honest) a freak load of other aspirers lives.

We have this notion of creating something good but more importantly unique; we like to ignore the reality that it's just recycled concepts and elements being churned out into the money-hungry art industry choking our society.

It is essentially a waiting game - hoping greatness will hit us with a wave of talent accompanied by a large demographic to pat us on the back.

Don't give me your empathy.

2009-10-19T12:59:00.000-07:00

I have long held an argument in my brain box about the concept of empathy. I''ll be honest my brain cells are a touch bias; the inevitable conclusion I come to is that I don't agree that such a farfetched thing exists.

We will never recall or comprehend an 'experience' we have never had ... no matter how similar our own seems to be. We can compare and find agreeable reactions or traits but never the same therefore there is only lower and higher grades of sympathy.

le smoking

2009-10-18T15:27:00.000-07:00

I'm falling back in love with smoking. That is all.

This is the smoke that fills my heart and warms my mind.

label me what?

2009-10-18T04:36:00.000-07:00

There is and has always been an overwhelming surge within humanity to adopt a group/label or embrace their current 'status' - it's a part of our struggle to be recognised for 'free will' , we need people to witness our choices and judge us on them. We talk about posing like it's the worst crime of freedom there is but in reality we are all posing for someone ..... even if that someone is ourself.

I think we need to kid ourselves that we're being liberal... or unique.. it's addictive.

we're so rad right?

2009-10-17T15:44:00.000-07:00

Teenage life exists on a very basic level - inebriation, intoxication, fornication.... but to be honest they all tie into one.

Is there really anything else.. interjections of self doubt, artistic dabbling? Is this what I hammer on for; is this the supposed inspiration for carrying on?

burning and yearning

2009-10-17T13:29:00.000-07:00

I realise i have become rather obsessed with images of romance and 'love' - I think I just about deserve some affection hurled in my neurotic direction.

It's too poetic to miss out.

Give you the blues

2009-10-16T10:32:00.000-07:00

I love sentimental crap as much as the next person in fact I probably love it more. Admitedly i'm not an overly affectionate being ....but sometimes beauty takes the form of a stranger and i can't help but appreciate (shame I'm a lumbering oaf incapable of being loved ahah)

Running with believers

2009-10-16T10:07:00.000-07:00

Those who know me best will tell you I'm a library addict. Like some sort of literary turtle I shuffle my morose carbon based lump to the mecca of books .....'The discovery center'. Nothing beats hitting the classics section to find the prettiest cover or most controversial blurb; accompanied of course by a black coffee and pensive pose

light me up baby

2009-10-16T09:25:00.000-07:00

now if this wouldn't make the best party in aspiring upper-class suburbia then .... i'll eat me beret! just fill then rooms with public school boys, a cocaine dispenser, fuck loads of champers and a photo both = the epitome of wank (ie. my dreams)

One day .....

2009-10-16T09:04:00.000-07:00

One day we're going to live in Paris...

As cliched as romanticized poverty in the streets of Montmarte sounds we secretly all wish it was true.

But reality kicks us all like a pre-mature hangover - one with a massive trust fund wearing Louboutin heels

Great escape from reality

2009-10-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

'I like to say we did it for the better of' - Anthony K (the genius)

It's warped and our current backdrop for evolution is quickly smothering any glow of originality ...... sad really .. isn't it?.

too late

2009-10-16T08:51:00.000-07:00

too much time is spent planning and hoping. Sometimes, as much as i hate that happy-clappy shit...., we expect too much success or recognition - we live for that pat on the back so promote your life to maximize the fulfillment.

tell the people you are infatuated with how much you need their attention and shout about your creativity ....or fake it well.

look at these freakin hipsters

2009-10-16T08:49:00.000-07:00

all sourced from 'i heartit'